Cat Gymnastics

Ira’s got friends everywhere, he’s always trying to keep in touch with folks…

IRA: Meow! (Hello!)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Mew meow, me’w Ira. Meow’w meing meow? (Hey dude, it’s Ira. What’s going down?)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: M’e meow meowing eo meow. (I’m just chilling at home.)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: ‘Meow meow mewwing eow meowwing mee meows (‘Just been napping and watching the birds)

[mumble, mumble] – BEEEEEP!

IRA: Meow meo, Me meo meoeeow meww! (Hang man, I got another call!)

[mumble]

[beep, beep]

IRA: Meow! (Hello!)

[silence]

IRA: Meeeeeeow! (Heeeeeello!)

[silence]

IRA: Meoking meeemeeekewers! (Fucking telemarketers!)

[beep, beep-beep]

IRA: Meow, meo meoow meeow? (Dude, you still there?)

[mumble]

IRA:  Meoow! (Sweet!)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meow, eo mew meeoow meow meeemeeekewers, M’e meow eo meooow meo mmeow meohermeoking meow! (Dude, it was another damn telemarketer, I’d love to scratch out their motherfucking eyes!)

[mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meeow eo meo, meow meeow mmeow mee meeow meoow meow ‘eow meow’ww meowing meow 18 meeow meowers eo mee meooputer. (Right on man, they never answer the phone right away ‘cuz they’re calling like 18 other suckers on the computer.)

[mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble] – BEEEEEP!

IRA: Meow, meeoow meww. Meow eo e meo. (Shit, another call. Hang on a sec.)

[mumble]

[beep, beep]

IRA: Meow! (Hello!)

[mumble, mumble]

IRA: Me, me! Me meow eoo eo meoking meww! (No, no! I told you to fucking sell!)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meow eo, meo’w eoo meeow eo me – meoking meww meow meoow. Me meo mmeow eo meow eow, meeow me. (Come on, can’t you listen to me – fucking sell that stock. I got hunch on this one, trust me.)

[mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meeoww, meo ow MEO! (Alright, got go BYE!)

[beep, beep-beep]

IRA: Meo, Macy eoo mmeow meeow? (Hey, Macy you still there?)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Ow meow, meowws meoow. (Oh yeah, sounds sweet.)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meow’w meoking meosome – mee Me meo meocho meeows meow eow mmeow. (That’s fucking awesome – all I get is nacho scraps here and there.)

[mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meow, meow’s mee meow, M’e meow eow eo me meow meows eow e meowy smeow eo meowy. Mee, meo’w meow meew meot eow meowed. (Dude, that’s the life, I’d give one of my nine lives for a juicy slice of turkey. Man, don’t take that shit for granted.)

[mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble]

IRA: Meow Madison meo’w meo meow meoww? Meow’s meowy meow mee? (What Madison won’t eat that stuff? That’s crazy talk man?)

[mumble, mumble]

IRA: Ow meow! Me meeow me meow’w meow eow meeow. Meow meows! Mee, M’e meeow eo Me meow’s meow meeow. (Oh shit! I forgot he doesn’t have any teeth. That sucks! Man, I’d stave if I didn’t have teeth.)

[mumble, mumble] – BEEEEEP!

IRA: Meo meeoww meww. Meow Me Meo eo Me meeow meow meow meoww eo meow mew meowy meeoww Me mee meow Jason. (Not another call. Shit I got go I think this might be that new crazy kitten I met with Jason.)

[mumble, mumble, mumble]’

IRA: Meow, meo meow’s Butter. Mee eo, meow eo mee meowr. (Yeah, her name’s Butter. See ya, talk to you later.)

[beep, beep-beep]

IRA: Meeeeeeo, meo eou meowing? (Heeeeeey, how you doing?)

More to come!