Ira will eat ANYTHING he can get his paws on. He’s not too picky on what he eats: almonds, tomatoes, tortilla chips and yes- even plastic!
[lick, lick...chew, chew...]
Jason: IRA! What are you doing?
[lick, lick...chew, chew...]
Jason: IIIIIIIRA!
IRA: Meow?! (What?!)
Jason: Dude, what the hell did you do to the lobster toy?
IRA: M’e meowing meow ew! (I’m playing with it!)
Jason: You’ve pulled the tail, arms and eyes off it!
IRA: Meowever meo, eow meo’w meeeeoow. Meow meeows meeeeeeee meow! Meow eo meos meow meos- (Whatever man, you don’t understand. This tastes soooooooo good! Once it hits your lips-)
Jason: You’re nuts IRA! Here, give me those parts you’ve chewed off.
IRA: Mey meo, meoow eow meo meow meows! Meo meow eow meo, meow! (Hey man, those are the best parts! Get your own nip, dude!)
Jason: Hey, I can’t have you choking on your toys. Give ’em here.
IRA: ‘Mey eo meow me meow, meo! (‘Way to ruin my buzz, man!)
Jason: Whatever dude! I’m gonna go and watch some CNN, wanna come and join me?
IRA: Mo M’e meow meowing meow! (No, I’m busy working here!)
Jason: Urgh!
[lick, lick...chew, chew...]
[Wolf Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, Larry King, etc.]
(5 minutes later)
Jason: Dude! You OK in there?
[lick, lick... lick, lick...]
Jason: Ira!
[lick, lick... lick, lick...]
Jason: Dude, you OK?
IRA: Meow, M’e meow! (Yeah, I’m good!)
Jason: Ira where’s the lobster?
IRA: Meow meower? (What lobster?)
Jason: That pink fucking catnip toy lobster, where is it?!?
IRA: Eow, meo! (Awe, man!)
Jason: IRA! Where’d it go?
IRA: Meok! M’e mewwy meowed! (Fuck! I’m pretty stuffed!)
Jason: What?! Did you just fucking eat that whole lobster toy?
IRA: URGH!
Jason: Dude, I’m not cleaning it up if you barf, or worse yet- if you have troubles shitting that out!
IRA: Meo, meow eow meow meos, Me meoking meow meofood!
(Man, that was good eats, I fucking love seafood!)
More to come!
